I like going on holiday, but I don’t really like holidays, if that makes sense.
I like travelling, lying on the beach, swimming in warmer seas, exploring new towns, trying new foods and all that good stuff that happens when you intentionally visit a new place. What I struggle with is those empty, aimless days of nothingness that happen when your routine just stops.
When you’re in the middle of a crazily busy period, a day of nothing seems like the best thing imaginable. When you’re faced with a seemingly endless string of them in front of you however, they are actually daunting.
You know you should be filling them with all of the things you don’t usually have time for, but for some reason they don’t seem as appealing as they did when you didn’t have time for them. I personally then start feeling guilty that I’m not relishing every second and “making the most of it”. I really hate that phrase sometimes. What does it even mean? ‘Most’ isn’t a measurable quantity, so how are you supposed to know if you have reached that lofty goal? Making the best of a bad situation, now that I can get on board with, but making the most of something? Don’t like it.
You might be wondering what this ramble is coming from so let me paint you a picture: I am currently stood in the kitchen at a plug as far away from the Call of Duty noises coming from the lounge as I can get. To my left is a random assortment of my foods that don’t have a home, and on the dining room table is my toiletry bag, my towel, and another bag full of relatively important documents.
Sean and I have moved out of our flat and we are being very kindly sheltered by his best mate. I am truly grateful to have a roof over our heads obviously, but it’s been just barely a week and I really miss my kitchen. I miss my spice cupboard and my jars of pantry staples; I miss my bathroom that I just cleaned and that had a bath mat; I miss our spacious living room. not living out of a suitcase, and of course, my own bed.
I don’t like change and I’m pretty fond of my routine but this is the situation I’m in now so I have to make the best of it. (Oh man, satisfying recurring theme right there, I must be a real writer). I’m choosing to shoot for the best, not the most because honestly I’m really tired. My body is screaming out for some rest and if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that my body knows best. So I will not feel guilty about napping being an almost daily recurrence and I will keep walking if I don’t think I can handle a run.
I will move a little or a lot if I feel like it, fuel myself as best I can and sleep. Anything else is just a bonus. If you know me at all, you’ll probably roll your eyes at the idea of me just “rolling with” the next few weeks, but I am going to try! I’ve already cuddled a llama or three this week so I have already won in my opinion anyway.